


I'll try and be your family

by mythoughtsaretroubled



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Gen, and they become friends and have a lovely and healthy realtionship, this is about how weird it is to have a kid with someone you barely know, this is not a romance fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythoughtsaretroubled/pseuds/mythoughtsaretroubled
Summary: Duke had difficulty describing his relationship with Beattie, but as far as he was concerned, she was irreplaceable.
Relationships: Duke Crocker & Beatrice Mitchell, Duke Crocker & Jean Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	I'll try and be your family

**Author's Note:**

> Beattie should have had a bigger part and Duke should have talked about Jean more. 
> 
> Also, there isn't any actual sexual assault that occurs in the story, Duke and Beattie both treat the night they conceived Jean as sexual assault for both of them and there is discussion of that. No details, just the emotions that come with that experience. So just a warning for that in case you find it triggering.

Dear Jean, 

I wanted to write you a letter, but I’m not sure what to say. You won’t be able to read them until you are older anyways, but I thought you should know I’m thinking of you. I guess the first thing to say is I am your biological dad. And I didn’t know I wanted a kid until you came along. 

It’s okay. I probably wouldn’t be a good dad. I’m sure your dad is better at parenting than me. I didn’t have very good parents, so I wouldn’t know where to start. 

Your mom and I didn’t give you up by choice. I hope your parents explained why. You weren't safe with us. But we wanted you. We still do. 

Love, 

Duke 

  
  


The first thing Duke did after finding out he had a daughter was open up a bank account in her name.

The first deposit he made was two thousand dollars. And every month, on the 8th, he added a hundred more. By the time she was a teenager, she would have over a hundred fifty thousand dollars, at this rate. Duke knew money didn't replace family but he also knew money meant Jean would never starve and never be homeless. Stability was taken for granted by those who always had it. And Jean would always have that, no matter who her parents were. 

He didn't tell Nathan and Audrey. It wasn't their business. He knew people thought he was shallow, obsessed with money, but with a bank account, she wouldn't end up scared and lost and. . . like him. Beattie cried when he told her. 

Duke and Beattie weren't not friends before they had a child together. But they were more friendly business associates, who flirted simply because he flirted with everyone. But then they had a child together, one they couldn't see. Neither of them could replace Jean, but she was the only one who understood how Duke felt.

He called her when he woke up every Monday. She would talk to him as she walked from the lighthouse to the Cape Rouge and he would prepare breakfast. He always made enough for her to bring leftovers home. 

They always ended up taking about Jean. Duke told her he actually wrote a will, leaving everything he had that was (mostly) legal to her.

"How do I love someone I don't even know?"

Beattie reached for his hand and squeezed. "I don't know."

When they didn't talk about Jean, they talked about the sea.

  
  


Dear Jean, 

Do you like pancakes or waffles more? Maybe when the Troubles are over, you can visit, and I’ll teach you to make some. 

Love, 

Duke 

  
  


They only talked about that night once. Duke told her how he had never felt so out of control. Completely helpless. She told him how horrified she was to wake up with no memory and a child in her womb. They both cried that morning for the child and the control Helena took from them.

"I feel so guilty, for keeping Benny and Liv but giving up Jean. How will we explain to her we wanted her but we couldn't keep her?" Beattie's eyes were red and her voice was hoarse.

"Her parents," Duke's voice broke, thinking of the people who could raise her, "they have been telling her about them."

Beattie shook her head. "You know as well as I that seeing is believing when the Troubles are involved."

Their shared abandonment weighed on them.

They both kept in touch with Jean's adoptive parents. Sometimes on a shared call, sometimes just by themselves. They both got the video of her first steps, the over flux of pictures of her every move and smile. Duke thought she was perfect. Maybe one day, when the Troubles were over, if they ever ended this time, they could see her. And hold her.

And his letters. They were addressed to Jean but they never said if they read them or not.

He asked Beattie one morning is he could watch Benny and Liv one night. She raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever even held a baby?"

He shook his head. He was tense but he needed to know if he ever saw Jean, could he actually be a parent? A good parent?

She thought for a moment, looking him over. "If you bring Nathan over, you can. He's a natural with them."

Duke had no idea how chaotic it would all be. Nathan was in the thick of it, humming and cooing to the babies. Duke held Liv like she would break and Audrey held Benny like he was an alien. Nathan was weirdly upbeat about teaching them to change diapers and making the strangest noises while feeding them. Audrey mostly spent the day cleaning the house. Duke thinks she is scared of babies. It felt a little bit like a family. He loved every minute of it and fell asleep instantly on Beattie's couch once they finally got the kids to bed.

  
  


Dear Jean, 

I spent the day with your siblings. I wish you had been there. 

Love, 

Duke

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!!


End file.
